The Daniel Daniel Transcripts: A Trilogy of Creepy Hilarity – Part 3

The third and final installment of the voicemail trilogy continues.  When we last left our friend Daniel, he had been trying to get an interview to get a job in my office.  The voicemail below is actually the 4th one that he left.  Unfortunately, the 3rd voicemail that he left for my friend where he left his phone number was deleted.

Why was it deleted?  Well I’m glad you asked.  The voicemail with his phone number was forwarded around the office, and about 30 people started calling him.  His answering machine message sounded just like the rambling insane messages that he had left for us.  There were times when people in my office would try to call him, but the phone would be busy because someone else was already listening to his 5 minute long answering machine message.

It created quite a controversy in my office.  When word got around that Daniel had called and spoke with someone and said that his phone has been ringing nonstop, the voicemail with his phone number on it was purged forever from the innards of our voicemail system. 

While we will never know exactly what was said, we can all be certain that it was crazy, and so long that it got cut off at the end.  We learned that our voicemail system had a maximum talk time built in and would tell the person leaving the message that they only had a few seconds left to end it.  OK, that’s the end of the message.  Bye bye for now.

Without further interruption:

Episode III……

“Yeah, Hi, I’m calling back, my name is Dan or Daniel (Last Name Deleted), ah, (Colorsinthevoid), ah, I met you a couple of years ago twice, ah you’d left a message. Someone called me today, today being Monday July, 29th, someone called, ah,  this mor… ah while I was out, I was gone earlier today and they called, I don’t know, sometime, ah late morning early afternoon. I don’t know what time it was, it could have been, ya know10 o’clock for all I know, I was gone before that. So, what I wanted a, the reason  I’m calling now is because I’ve been seeing these ads on T.V. for (Name Deleted), he’s running for governer again, for the second or third time and it reminded, ‘cause he he runs this, and it just reminded me,  cause I was here in your office here in (Town Deleted), oh, a couple years ago and I had met you at Ramapo College, I think it was you were there, two years ago at the job fair up there, and, ah I came in and there was somewhat of a discrepency, ah , with, ah as I had mentioned my last tape as far as, ah., and I wanted to straighten out with you personally because then I had gone to your boss, ah, here in (Town Deleted), I don’t know what his name was,  and this woman called me this morning, I’m, I don’t know if it’s  Joanne or not, but, something, some woman called, and um. I wanted to, ya know, sort of clear the air, and be reconcidered for a position here, um, as far as resumes go, over and above the company, the employment application  that the company has, I mean, ya know, I don’t have a problem with that to be honest with you. I, I think that there was a misunderstanding about that, and I don’t know what else but ya know, let bygones be bygones  is my philosophy, and ah, ya know, and so forth. So I, I should someone call me, I’m usually here in the morning and, ya know I have to go out, wild goose, well not a wild, we won’t go into details but. The morning is always is before, by ten orten thirty is usually is good, I’m usually here. So, please have her ah ……….

The message was erased before the transcripts could be completed

In case you were wondering, all these years later, Daniel continues to call my office to try to get a job.  I keep hoping that one day I will get to hear his creepy voice again.  If it happens, Part 4 will be posted.  So bookmark this page because you never know what fantastic stuff I might post next.

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